I challenged myself to a a No-Nut-November
Updated: Dec 11, 2020
I made it to Nov 13.
That's it. That's the whole post.
Just Kidding. It started off as a joke really. We had had some GREAT sex on Halloween night. The kind you keep thinking about and even feeling the next morning. Only, when I brought it up the next morning my husbands response was more or less a confused "we had sex last night ? " . His defense was that I mounted him out of nowhere while he was already in a deep sleep so he assumed it had been a dream. So I mostly jokingly but somewhat seriously retorted " you dont appreciate me.. we obviously have way sex too much sex because you're losing track. What if I was like Devean from 90 Day Fiancé TOW, not giving Jihoon "any ass?"( I know that is an oddly specific reference, but this is an oddly specific space, so keep up.)
Anyway, so began my 30 day edging / celibacy(?) journey. If you're unfamiliar with the term , "edging" is when someone goes right to the edge of climax and then doesn't. Atleast not until you decide to. Supposedly its to highten your orgasm. Sounds torturous right? It kind of is.
I decided we could fulfill our needs for romantic touch but no oral or penetrative sex was to occur. Emphasis on the "I decided" because my husband, Chris, God bless his soul and patience, decided that he'd humor me with only minimal protest once my passive aggressive joke turned into a semi serious experiment in broadening our sexual horizons. After all, in my humble opinion, once a relationship gets anywhere past the 3 year itch, experimenting to keep all parties happily satisfied becomes a crucial component to a fulfilled relationship.
The commitment to no oral began and ended on the same day. I mean what can I say, I LOVE the act, especially being on the performing end if you catch my drift. *Wink wink* Oh you don't? I mean I love to S*ck my husbands D*ck , not for him so much as for myself, but I digress. I then reccommitted to no oral , and to no intercourse and no climax from any other form of physical interaction. I.E no masturbating to climax, or climaxing from heavy mutual petting.
After my declaration of impromptu celebacy, I, as is the norm for so many of us, ended up in an internet rabbit hole about the most current topic governing my mind. Wouldn't you know it ? "Edging" is not just some millennial, trendy fad as one might assume. In fact according to this medical journal from 1956 , edging has in the past also been used not only for fun but to treat premature ejaculation, or PE. Though Chris is not a one minute man by any means, this was still an interesting tidbit of medical history I was not expecting to learn. I thought it interesting if he somehow could "train" himself to last longer , at will (note to self for future post idea , Is there a such a thing as sex lasting too long ?). I also figured I could train myself in someway to experience sex in new ways. Its easy to get comfortable in a mechanical routine with sex. As a matter of fact its a running inside joke between my man and I to say something along the lines of "I need your spousal services " , as a short and humorous way of saying "I need a quickie and it doesn't need to be romantic , so its ok if you just lay there while I use your lower half as a prop" . Its important to acknowledge that we don't always need or even want that cinematic, just-came-home-from-the-war kind of sex. Why not take this dry time to add to my bag of tricks for when we are in the mood to break a sweat and have those kind of nights though, right?
Though I wasn't sure where to begin I figured why not start with literary erotica to get my own creative juices flowing(no pun intended haha). Guys, I know this may come as a surprise to some but, the internet, is weird. Weird. Once I made my way through the unreadable, then through all of the typical "I babysat for a rich family and the middle aged father de-flowered me on the drive home" - type of stories, I spiraled into the less sexy but more comical stories. At some point I made my way to a site dedicated to the topic, Literotica.com , where I spent a few days skimming through stories that further eroded the innocence of my childhood, like, this Hunger Games fan fiction where tributes are not faced with fighting to the death but instead are expected to fuck or face death ? Idk man. Like I said, WEIRD, but entertaining nonetheless. No where, IMO, is better both for cringe and surprisingly well written peices of intense carnal interaction between two (and sometimes more) carnal beings, than the trenches of Reddit.com however. Sure , you must first dig through the cheesy(side note, water sex is not the business ) , then passed the men writing women fails, until you get to the decent , descriptive stuff. I got to tell you, you dont realize how much goes into a sexual encounter until you read about it.You're forced to imagine every flick of the tongue, every sound, every bulging vein and every drop of bodily fluid conceivable. Something about the combination of reading someone else's fantasies and knowing that there was a full grown bulging vein penis attached to the man laying next to me, that I had committed to not touching, was , for lack of better words, incredibly hot.
Next came the porn. Like most , I'm pretty much done watching any given video once I get some post nut clarity. And since I had made a commitment , I really saw no sense in indulging during this time of no nutting. Its not the same as reading about sex which prompts the reader to use their imagination instead of spoon feeding eroticism to the audience the way porn does. However I did find it gratifying to support small businesses by way of avoiding Porn Hub and instead opting for checking out what Only Fanz had to offer whenever I was in the mood to be a voyeur. Did you guys know OF has more than just T&A on it ? Because it does. There's chicks fully clothed doing all sorts of things. But mostly its chicks that are naked and flicking their beans. If you can support content creators directly instead of clicking on big names like PornHub and Youporn please do so. That 6 dollars subscription means alot to someone else.
My favorite new thing that came from my spontaneous celibacy , however, was that it forced me to think of different ways to be sexual without having sex with my husband. So , I started sending NSFW videos, texts, and pictures to my husband as if we dont live in the same (small) house and see eachother all day everyday (especially since our lockdown orders have not eased) . I'd take the few moments when we were in different rooms or while I was showering to take pictures and videos like it was me with an Only Fanz and he a subscriber. I was sending him videos like he was a new boyfriend I was trying to woo and I'd asked the same of him. It was nice to be scrolling mindlessly through my phone, and seeing a notification pop up only to see my favorite one eyed member in the world staring back at me. Seriously when was the last time any of you in long term relationships experienced that little heartattack that comes with accidently opening an unexpected naughty SMS around other people? Thats how I felt whenever I'd be doing something like watching TV wih one of the kids then suddenly getting a sext from my husband in the next room. More than the excitement that came with receiving messages from my husband , I was increasingly more turned on and amused by catching his wholesome reactions to me sending him dirty messages. Id see his eyes glimmer and his face screwed up in a mischievous smile from across the room and I knew he was looking at me. It was, nice. I cant think of any other word but that because honestly I felt so wanted by him. Not that I ever dont feel wanted. On the contrary , he's fucking obsessed really. Not a day goes by this man doesn't slap my ass or come up behind me and squeezes my entire body in a big embrace while thrusting himself onto my backside. I know he's thirsty for me as I am for him. But something about taking the option of sex completely off the table made these kind of interactions all the more satisfying.
I was having fun, and though Chris won't admit it I know he was too. Our sex life was in no way in need of a shaking up prior to this little hiatus, but because we did shake things up a bit, it set us up for a new sense of anticipation for our next homerun encounter which was supposed to be Dec.1.
As mentioned in the opening lines however, we only made it to day 13 before breaking our fast. In days 10, 11 and 12 I began feeling like zombie. As in your girl just wanted , "BRAAAAIIIIN" 🤣. I really couldn't let my husband pass within reach without basically accosting him. Im not sure what his diet consisted of those two weeks or what he was doing to himself behind closed doors, but there's NO WAY he was toting around the same pheromones he always does around here because the attraction I began feeling was surreal.
At this point, I'd spent days on days, reading about sexual fantasies, talking about fantasies and you know , fantasizing, and absolutely NO time actually having any sex. You know how they say when you lose one of your senses the others are heightened? Well dare I say thats what happened here. By removing the instant gratification of sex, I forced my senses into a heightened state of sexual awareness. My husbands skin felt more velvety, his natural odor made my head spin, his voice sounded deeper, I swear he even started to look taller! Overall I appreciated his existence more knowing I couldn't have him at my will (I mean I totally could have , he was not the one holding out on me after all, but you get my drift).
So , all things considered Im surprised I made it as far as I did. The night we broke the fast , the kids were not at home thus making it all I needed it to be after weeks of holding out. A margarita induced cuddle session quickly turned into a fullscale assault on the ears of our downstairs neighbors who Im positive had to have heard us making sure the headboard still rattled. R.I.P my dignity! Maybe we will try this little experiment again only with a bit more pre planning so as to maybe be more mentally prepared for the journey. For now, I'll just continue to happily consume my husband any chance I get. Thats not to say I don't recommend a fast to others because I absolutely do! You will maybe feel closer to your partner even if maybe you dont even realize you need to be closer to them. Maybe you just take a break from sex all together and are able to appreciate it more afterward. Or maybe u just want a break from shaving your nether regions and want a break from being sexy and presentable. Whatever the case, talk to me in the comment section and share your experience with sexual fasting.
Before, I sign off, I want to mention that there's a difference in a complete dry spell and an intentional fast. If you and your partner are having problems because of lack of sex then maybe this little teasing game ain't for you. Every couple and case is different. Best of luck and happy humping ya filthy animals !